Monday, November 13, 2006
Guide to spunky pop 80's music videos
I remember being able to read a Mad magazine and watch music videos at the same time, my eyes could just dart back and forth to the pages on my lap and the images on the screen. Now it takes about 30 seconds for my eyes to focus from something close to something faraway, so darting is out of the question. Today I couldn't even see the little tiny cartoons drawn in the margins of the Mad from 1989 I found with my stuff in the garage. Even more frightening, what am I doing watching VH-1?
I remember when I wouldn't have been caught dead watching VH-1, yet, here I am, soaking in all of the old videos that I used to live for. I quit watching Music Television when they stopped showing music, I think I got out right about the same time Real World showed up. Oh well, if it wasn't for the MTV Music Famine of the 90s, I wouldn't have the same appreciation for the Golden Age of Music Videos today.
In the 80s, we would watch MTV about 18 hours a day, which gave us plenty to talk about at school. I was one of the few girls in my 8th grade class who wasn't in love with Prince, and yet they had the nerve to rib me about liking Culture Club. I ask you now, why are Eddie Izzard and Boy George considered transvestites and Prince is not?
Over the past 25 or so years of watching 80s music videos, I've noticed a few things some of the most popular videos had in common. I can't believe none of the people on the old nostalgia flashback shows have mentioned these important video elements, maybe they are too busy blowing smoke and making intelligent, pithy comments like, "It is a timeless classic, even now."
The essentials of a popular 80s music video:
1. Special effects. You may not recognize the cutouts, mirrored screens, the camera zooms, stop motion, and starlight lens filters as special effects, but, c'mon, it was all we had back then. The face-morphing in "Cry" was absolutely the cutting edge.
2. A segment showing the Rock Star hanging with regular folks. This is the part of the video where our Rock Star gets to show his down-to-earth side. Laughing and smiling, the amused Rock Star is clapping and swaying with people just like you and me that unwittingly wandered onto the set, who just happen to be professional dancers. Singing with a group featuring children and/or minorities gets you extra points. Tears For Fears suddenly seems so approachable.
3. A segment showing the Rock Star as a regular folk. Sometimes, our Rock Star would just show himself in every day situations, like fondling models, standing back stage while waiting to perform to a stadium of screaming fans, and and looking perplexed while driving a Ferrari, usually filmed in black-and-white, and then cut back to himself in a studio, singing a narration to his own troubled life. Or he might be working as a welder wearing designer jeans and sporting a $500 haircut and eyeliner, then suddenly bursts into song as he's walking down the street. See? Axl Rose has the same woes as you and me. We share your pain.
4. A touching/ackward/vulnerable moment. Peter Garrett's sheepish grin, or any time Phil Collins tried to dance, is a good example of the Rock Star's expression of raw humanity. Even when it's obvious that our Rock Star obviously spends 40 hours a week practicing expressions in front of the mirror.
5. The band performing. No matter what story arc, there have to be some intercuts of the band just playing their instruments, showing that they are still just musicians. Even if they are casually playing on the top of a mountain or in the middle of the desert. They're still just musicians.
6. Boobs
Did sombody sit down and write out this formula? Or did it evolve over time? Were there copycats or was it some sort of Campbellian cosmic consciousness thing?
I remember when I wouldn't have been caught dead watching VH-1, yet, here I am, soaking in all of the old videos that I used to live for. I quit watching Music Television when they stopped showing music, I think I got out right about the same time Real World showed up. Oh well, if it wasn't for the MTV Music Famine of the 90s, I wouldn't have the same appreciation for the Golden Age of Music Videos today.
In the 80s, we would watch MTV about 18 hours a day, which gave us plenty to talk about at school. I was one of the few girls in my 8th grade class who wasn't in love with Prince, and yet they had the nerve to rib me about liking Culture Club. I ask you now, why are Eddie Izzard and Boy George considered transvestites and Prince is not?
Over the past 25 or so years of watching 80s music videos, I've noticed a few things some of the most popular videos had in common. I can't believe none of the people on the old nostalgia flashback shows have mentioned these important video elements, maybe they are too busy blowing smoke and making intelligent, pithy comments like, "It is a timeless classic, even now."
The essentials of a popular 80s music video:
1. Special effects. You may not recognize the cutouts, mirrored screens, the camera zooms, stop motion, and starlight lens filters as special effects, but, c'mon, it was all we had back then. The face-morphing in "Cry" was absolutely the cutting edge.
2. A segment showing the Rock Star hanging with regular folks. This is the part of the video where our Rock Star gets to show his down-to-earth side. Laughing and smiling, the amused Rock Star is clapping and swaying with people just like you and me that unwittingly wandered onto the set, who just happen to be professional dancers. Singing with a group featuring children and/or minorities gets you extra points. Tears For Fears suddenly seems so approachable.
3. A segment showing the Rock Star as a regular folk. Sometimes, our Rock Star would just show himself in every day situations, like fondling models, standing back stage while waiting to perform to a stadium of screaming fans, and and looking perplexed while driving a Ferrari, usually filmed in black-and-white, and then cut back to himself in a studio, singing a narration to his own troubled life. Or he might be working as a welder wearing designer jeans and sporting a $500 haircut and eyeliner, then suddenly bursts into song as he's walking down the street. See? Axl Rose has the same woes as you and me. We share your pain.
4. A touching/ackward/vulnerable moment. Peter Garrett's sheepish grin, or any time Phil Collins tried to dance, is a good example of the Rock Star's expression of raw humanity. Even when it's obvious that our Rock Star obviously spends 40 hours a week practicing expressions in front of the mirror.
5. The band performing. No matter what story arc, there have to be some intercuts of the band just playing their instruments, showing that they are still just musicians. Even if they are casually playing on the top of a mountain or in the middle of the desert. They're still just musicians.
6. Boobs
Did sombody sit down and write out this formula? Or did it evolve over time? Were there copycats or was it some sort of Campbellian cosmic consciousness thing?
