Monday, June 26, 2006

 

I was so hhhot!

Today a really disturbing image flashed into my head. Twelve years ago. I'm pregnant with Cindy and had a lot of time on my hands so I decided to make myself a maternity outfit.

In the fabric store in South Pasadena I found some jersey-knit cow material. In the early 90s black and white cow prints were all the rage so I bought myself a few yards and a pattern for a one-piece maternity jumper. I even bought some matching ceramic cow buttons to hold the overall straps up.

When I got the jumper finished, I realized I had made it way too big. I went back and made a belt attached to the back so that I could cinch it in and tie it less tightly as my belly grew. I was really proud of my fine craftsmanship and wore the outfit all the time with a pair of Birkenstocks and a white t-shirt underneath.

The problem was that the belt never stayed tied and dangled behind me when I walked. Everyone wondered why I had suddenly taken to wearing a cow costume.

"It's not a costume, it's my jumper," I would say.

"Then why does it have a tail?"

Please make sure this story doesn't get back to Cindy.

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